The Scariest Woman In Fairy Tail
by protossfire
Summary: Natsu and Gray are trapped between two beautiful, innocent women and one sexy, amorous redhead who might be a kleptomaniac. Strike that; she's definitely a kleptomaniac and she has absolutely no sense of modesty. One could almost feel sorry for them. Almost. Lucy x Natsu x Erza x Gray x Juvia. Crack Fic and rated M for lemon; user caution is advised.


**A/N **

I don't own Fairy Tail.

Summary:

Natsu and Gray are trapped between two beautiful, innocent women and one sexy, amorous redhead who might be a nymphomaniac. Strike that; she's definitely a nymphomaniac and she has absolutely no sense of modesty. One could almost feel sorry for them. Almost. lucy x natsu x erza x gray x juvia. Crack Fic and rated M for lemon; user caution is advised.

This was inspired by chapter 47 page 12 in the manga, where Erza tells Gray and Natsu to take a shower, since they'll be staying in the same room and they stink. The two males refuse, and Erza grabs them both by the shoulders and says, "Well, if there's no other way, we'll just have to take a shower together...like in the old days."

Then Lucy proceeds to shriek, "JUST WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU GUYS HAVE?!"

Also inspired by Erza's complete and total lack of modesty.

xxxx

"It's totally your turn!" Gray shouted, pointing his finger at Natsu.

"Screw that, you ice bastard! It's definitely your turn!"

"Fuck you, flame-breath! I was last night!"

"No way!"

"Errr, yeah. I'm pretty sure. I've got the marks to prove it, if you wanna see."

Natsu took a full step backwards. "No, no. That's okay." He said, waving his hands in horror. "I'm still sore though..." He cried burying his face in his hands.

An expression of almost-pity appeared on Gray's face. "Was it that bad?"

"I was so exhausted I slept twelve hours last night." Natsu said, deadpan, looking up at Gray.

"Good!" Gray crowed. "You'll be ready, then!"

Natsu surged to his feet, flames appearing in his hands. "Don't even joke about that. As if anyone could ever be ready for..._that_." He shuddered visibly.

"You scared, pinky?"

"What did you just call me?" Natsu asked dangerously.

Lucy turned away as the boys started their typical brawl. "What are they arguing about today?" She asked Mira curiously.

"Same old nothing, I suspect." Mira said, shrugging. "Although they have been mentioning 'turns' quite often, lately. I haven't the faintest idea what they're talking about, though."

"Hmmm." Lucy mused speculatively.

The doors slammed open, and Lucy turned in time to see Erza walk in through the doors.

"It's too early in the day to be drinking, Cana." She said strictly.

"No such thing." Cana said, shrugging.

Erza's iron gaze swept over to where Natsu and Gray were standing, both of them in fighting crouches.

"Natsu, Gray. Are you two fighting again?"

Natsu and Gray flew together faster than Lucy would've believed possible. "No, no, no!" The two chanted, arms around each other.

"We're the best of friends just like always!" Natsu insisted.

Erza smiled slightly. "Good."

"It's amazing what Natsu and Gray can do when they're really pushed, huh?" Lucy asked, laughing.

"Yeah, no kidding." Mira said, her laugh bubbling out, high and clear. "Erza sure knows how to motivate people."

The laughter froze in her throat when Erza turned to regard them, her gaze terrifyingly piercing.

"Y-y-yes, Erza?" Lucy asked.

Erza smiled. "Nothing, you just gave me an idea."

Everyone in the guild relaxed when Erza sat next to Lucy, and asked for a drink.

Sometime later, Erza got up and started walking towards the door. On the way however, she pierced Natsu with her gaze, and smiled dangerously. "I'll see you later, Natsu."

Then she walked out.

Natsu slumped next to Lucy at the bar. "Dragons protect me." He groaned into his crossed arms.

Lucy giggled a little. "What was that about?" She asked as Gray sat on her other side, and ordered a drink.

She rubbed Natsu's back a little, in spite of herself, surprised as always by the heat that soaked through the cloth. She rubbed slow circles in his back, and Natsu seemed to sigh in relief, his muscles visibly relaxing, bringing a light blush to her cheeks.

Natsu was silent for so long that she was convinced that he wasn't going to answer. Then he whispered softly, "I can't tell you."

Natsu stumbled to his feet, mumbled "Cya later." and was gone.

"What the heck is going on?" Lucy asked in disbelief, turning to Gray.

Gray fixed her with a serious gaze. "As a man, there's some things that I can't share with a woman like you."

Lucy opened her mouth to ask what the hell that meant, but was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Elfman looking at her seriously. He shook his head in disapproval, then moved off again.

Lucy threw up her hands. Sometimes this guild really made her want to scream.

xxxx

Gray looked up as Juvia slid into the bench across from him. "Wonder where everyone is tonight. It seems sort of quiet."

Juvia cocked her ear, listening to the laughter and shouting that filled the hall. This was quiet?...Fairy Tail never ceased to amaze her.

Unless, of course, he was talking about his teammates. In which case, she couldn't care less where they were...if it meant she could be _alone _with Gray-sama!

Juvia shrugged. Gray's eyes dropped to the table again, spacing out as his thoughts turned away from the present.

Juvia shifted nervously, trying to think of something to say. Anything to say. "U-um, would you like to share some coffee with Juvia?"

Gray looked up, studied her for a second, then nodded. "Hey, Mira?" Mirajane turned from where she stood next to a table a little ways away. "Would you mind bringing us two cups of coffee, please?"

Mira's eyes lit upon the two of them alone at the table, and they gleamed. "Sure!" She exclaimed happily, rushing off to the back.

Juvia stared at Gray. Had he just...ordered for her? Did that mean what she thought it did? He wanted to protect her...provide for her?

"Oh, Grayyyy-samaaa!" She squealed, leaping over to the table to latch onto him, tears running down her face as she crushed herself against him.

"Ack! What the HELL?!" Gray shrieked. He fled, jumping up from the bench and rushing out the doors, Juvia still latched around his waist, flapping in the wind.

Mira watched in bemusement along with the rest of the guild. In the following silence, she looked around, holding up the two mugs and coffee pot. "Anyone want any coffee?"

xxxx

Natsu opened his door warily.

There, of course, stood Erza. She was clad in a white tank top, blue skirt, and black boots. Natsu couldn't help but notice the way the muscles in her legs moved as she stepped over the threshold, or the way her breasts brushed softly against him as she stepped past.

"I did a solo-mission today, you know." She told him, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah?" Natsu asked, warily.

"Yeah." Erza confirmed. "I worked up quite an appetite."

"I can make some dinner, or something, if you want..." Natsu trailed off as Erza turned to face him.

She smiled, a predatory look in her eyes that just screamed danger. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Natsu gulped.

Erza took a step forward. Then another, slowly driving Natsu back against the wall. She reached up, sliding her hands through his rosy locks. Then she pressed against him in a long kiss, her tongue sliding tantalizingly into his mouth, the kiss full of desperate need.

Natsu seriously prayed for a moment that his manhood would fail him. That for some reason, the connection would be messed up, and he would have an excuse to take a day off. But he knew it wasn't to be, as the next beat of his heart sent a flush of blood down to his center. After all, he was a young man, and Erza was so damned _sexy. _Her predatory grace, her soft curves and long, lean legs. They were like something out of a wet dream from hell, come to torment him in real life.

She broke away for a second, to grin, her forehead pressed against his. "I heard someone say today that I really know how to motivate you, Natsu. Is that true?"

Natsu moaned softly as she buried her lips in the curve between his shoulder and neck. "Obviously." He said, his voice low and husky in her ear.

Erza straightened back up for another urgent kiss, then drew back, smiling. Then she started pulling him lightly towards the bedroom. "I want you to show me." She demanded teasingly, still smiling.

xxxx

Natsu stiffened as Erza returned from the bathroom. Every muscle in his body was torn to shreds and he burned and ached like he'd just run a marathon. If Erza decided, like she occasionally did, that she wanted more...he'd probably just die.

But thankfully, Erza seemed ready to just sleep tonight, as she snuggled up next to him in the bed. Natsu lay on his back, and she put her head on his chest, her bare breasts pressed softly against his side.

Erza smiled with her eyes closed. "You've gotten good at this." She sighed contentedly. "Maybe I'll give Gray a day off tommorow, and come back here instead."

Natsu stiffened. Erza cracked an eye and laughed. "I'm only kidding, Natsu." She pressed her lips lightly against his bare chest. "Night."

"Night."

Natsu sighed as Erza closed her eyes and relaxed against him.

xxxx

"Hey, Natsu." Erza smiled secretively at him, and Natsu moved to slump next to Lucy at a table where she was talking to Levy.

"Yo." He yawned, effectively greeting both women as Erza walked past.

Lucy turned to him, frowning. "What's up with you? Tired again?"

Natsu merely grunted, his cheek smushed against the wooden table.

"Yo."

Lucy looked up to see Gray slide onto the bench next to Levy.

"Oh, _sure._" Lucy said sarcastically. "Why don't you guys have a seat? It's not like Levy and I were talking or anything."

"It's okay, Lucy." Levy said, getting to her feet. "I really need to run, anyway."

"Okay...see you later, I guess." Lucy said doubtfully.

"We _need _to take a job." Natsu moaned into the table.

Gray stretched leisurely. "Nah, I'm actually feeling pretty good today. Good day to party."

Lucy didn't bother telling him that he had lost his shirt. "We can't go on a mission, Natsu. We leave for the capitol tommorow, remember? Grand Magic Games? Ring any bells?" She asked, smiling.

Natsu groaned in relief. "Thank god!"

"Huh?" Lucy asked in confusion.

"She told you yet?" Natsu asked Gray, ignoring her.

"Told me what?" Gray asked, beginning to look a little worried.

Natsu just chuckled.

"Who?" Lucy asked, looking back and forth between them. Who was this "she"? Was there a girl in Natsu and Gray's lives she didn't know about? Because whatever they were talking about right now...it certainly didn't make any sense to her.

Neither answered.

"Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted." Lucy stalked off in a huff, and Natsu was too tired, and Gray too terrified to call after her.

"Hey, guys." Erza said, sliding onto the bench next to Natsu. "I'm gonna fence against some rich nobles from the capitol today. Maybe a few mages too. You guys wanna come watch?"

Gray paled. Natsu yawned. "Too tired."

Erza looked at the two of them, her eyebrows raised. Then she smiled. "Alright. It's not going to be much of a challenge anyway. I'll go see if I can find Lucy, though. She might want to come."

Natsu laughed at the expression on Gray's face as Erza departed. "Erza's fighting today, Gray. Fighting a bunch of weaklings...I'd hate to be in your shoes tonight!" Natsu laughed harder, actually pushing himself off the table, before falling over backwards off the bench.

"I think I'm gonna go take a nap." Gray left the hall, practically dragging his feet.

xxxx

Lucy opened her door, the keys jingling as she put them back in her pocket.

"Eeek!" She squeaked, freezing as she watched Natsu climb into her bed, clad only in boxers.

"Night, Luce." Natsu said, rolling over.

Lucy stood there frozen for a second, replaying the image in her mind. The tanned skin gleaming, muscles rippling. Her face flooded red in a deep blush. "NATSU! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Going to sleep, obviously."

"Don't you have your own _house_?!" Lucy shrieked.

"Yeah..." Natsu turned over in the bed to look at her seriously. "But it feels weird, sleeping alone in that house."

Lucy refused to say that she, also, sometimes felt weird sleeping alone after a mission. Whenever they were on the road, she shared a room with at least Erza, if not the whole team. It made her apartment feel lonely and empty by comparison.

"I'm going to take a shower." Lucy stated slowly, as if talking to a small child. "You better be gone when I get out."

Natsu smiled and rolled over, murmuring four words so quietly that by the time the sound reached her, Lucy couldn't be quite sure what he had said. The only thing Lucy knew was that there was NO WAY he just said what she thought he maybe, might have just said. It was Natsu, after all.

xxxx

When Lucy got out of the shower, dressed in red pajamas decorated with pink sakura flowers, she was unsurprised, if a little anxious, to find Natsu still in her bed. The Dragonslayer was snoring softly, the sheets pulled back, his bare chest slowly rising and falling.

She fought down the blush on her cheeks, and tip-toed ever so softly across the floor. She carefully pulled back the sheets, and slipped in, careful to keep her back to Natsu. She tensed, her muscles tight as she waited on the edge of the bed for any sign that she had woken Natsu.

She muffled a squeak as an arm came around her side, to grasp her around the middle, pulling her towards the center of the bed.

Lucy looked sharply over her shoulder. Natsu smiled softly in his sleep, and let out a soft sigh. Lucy stayed tense for a moment, fighting off the blush as she realized _exactly _how much of Natsu's body she was currently in contact with. Then Natsu's warmth started to seep through her back and into her muscles, and Lucy found herself melting completely against him, limp as a newborn child.

"Night Natsu." She murmured softly, seeping into a deep, blissful sleep.

xxxx

Erza slammed open the door violently. Gray looked up in alarm as the door bounced off the wall, slamming shut behind the fierce mage as she stalked towards him. Erza was wearing an indigo dress tonight, sleek silk that hugged her smooth body, outlining every curve.

"Reaffirm my faith in humanity."

Gray stood up and began backing away slowly, but Erza closed the distance between them in three long strides. She shoved him roughly against the wall, and pressed herself as close as possible, immediately capturing Gray in a fierce, fiery kiss.

When Erza finally broke off, both mages gasped for breath. "I...take...it...your opponents weren't very good?" Gray asked, chest heaving.

"They _sucked._" Erza confirmed. "Who made me agree...to do that crap, anyway?...I'm no performer."

"Uh, I think that was y-" Erza interrupted him with another fierce kiss.

"Gray. You know...how much I hate it...when you tease me." She gasped, chest heaving.

Gray looked down and, in a rare moment, was unsurprised to find his shirt already missing and his hands in the process of removing his pants. He tossed them to the side, and grinned. "Yes, ma'am." He had barely begun to hold out his arms when Erza jumped into them, wrapping her legs around his waist and capturing his mouth once more.

He shifted his hands down the back of her thighs, in order to hold her up better, and began carrying her towards his bedroom, groaning as Erza traced a line of fiery kisses from his jawline, down his neck, and across his shoulder.

Suddenly, she ground her hips against his, sending a current of pleasure arcing up from his center.

"Er-za!" He gasped brokenly.

Erza grinned evilly, and ground against him again. Gray shivered, and barely made it to the bed in time to fling Erza onto the sheets instead of on the floor. Her dress gleamed gold, disappearing to leave Erza stark naked.

She grinned at him, her eyes glinting as he froze, staring. She hooked her toes in the bottom of his boxer's, and yanked down softly. Gray got the message, and quickly stripped his boxers away.

As soon as that annoying garment was gone, Erza hooked both feet behind his waist, and yanked suddenly, pulling him down on top of her. Gray narrowly caught himself, his hands on either side of her head, elbows bent and arms flexed to keep himself from colliding with her as Erza kept the pressure on his lower back, slowly pulling him closer, inch by inch.

"Gray." Erza grinned, her nose just a few inches from his. "I have this _really _irritating scratch. Do you mind?"

Gray grinned too, finally allowing himself to fall against her, and then rising up with her in his arms. "I feel like I've heard that one before."


End file.
